Preposition
by mylilchickadee
Summary: /young RaixRen/ Where was it they first fell in love? It was in the schoolyard.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Diabolo was created by Kei Kusunoki and Kaoru Ohashi

A/N: It's a little weird, since they can only be about seven years old, but considering how close they are after ten years of separation, this must have been a very important time. Besides, I remember being that age.  
Since we know so little about this time, it could be OOC, could be not. I'm taking liberties with the storyline.  
There is no Mio here.

Spoilers: None.

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Chapter 1: In the Schoolyard

It hurt when his knees hit the pavement. It hurt when a fist punched his face. It hurt when a foot kicked his ribs. It hurt. All of it. But it was a pain that was familiar, one he could understand. And it was the only thing he could feel when all the rest of him had gone numb.

He was a nothing, a nobody. He didn't even get the luxury of a full name. His parents were gone long ago and he was left without even the comfort of "how" or "why". It was deemed pointless for him to know a past he would never own. He knew where he was from and where he was going and it was all the same place. A long straight highway that stretched out into forever, to some nameless, unimportant darkness. Quiet and without meaning or purpose and he understood that.

So the beatings he received were not as bad as one would think. He accepted them; they were the one thing that told him he was alive. As twisted as it may seem, he treasured them.

Until that day.

That day changed everything.

He had fallen once more into that blissful place where there was pain and there wasn't, real and unreal but all recognizable; when everything suddenly stopped. At first he didn't know what to do. It always stopped at some point, but never like this. He'd long ago learned the routine, the duration, the predetermined schedule and the bell had not yet been rung. This new change made him more afraid of opening his eyes than of being dealt another blow. But then he heard the sound of running away, sensed the vibrations of pounding feet ripple through the ground.

Followed by nothing.

Silence.

Tentatively, he blinked his eyes and the blurriness of dirt and grass came slowly into view. Dust had been kicked up and still floated ominously in the air like a reminder; a small amount of which got sucked accidentally into his lungs, making him cough. He sputtered to clear it out, a pair of shoes he only just noticed shifted. Then there was a face, a new face, a face he had never seen before, forcing its way into his vision.

"Are you O.K.?" asked a small high voice anxiously.

Rai looked up and saw a boy with wild blond hair and light brown eyes staring at him with concern. "Those guys are just a bunch of jerks." the cute little thing said.

The brunette blinked again, momentarily shocked at what had happened. This other boy whom he had never met must have come over and fought the others off and now inexplicably seemed interested in Rai's well-being.

Nothing like this had ever happened before, not even in his well-worn imagination.

"I'm fine," He answered, a trifle confused. Why would this boy do such a thing? For him? "It doesn't matter. I'm no one important anyway. I don't even have any parents."

He just didn't get it.

"What difference does that make?" The blond looked honestly puzzled, and a little bit angry. "Doesn't mean they should pick on you. Those guys just suck."

Rai didn't understand. The numbness in his heart began to wring and writhe, confused as something new and unfamiliar fought to break through. Still half-dazed, he sat staring blankly at the ground that rested at the other boy's feet. He saw that the boy had on nice sneakers, recently stained with the dirt and grass of the schoolyard, but otherwise a fresh clean white. He could tell they were expensive by their design. They were nothing like the cast-off bargain shoes Rai owned.

"Hey, I'm Ren!" The boy shouted cheerily out of nowhere, without a care in the world. "What's your name?"

Rai lifted his deep green eyes once more to the bright wide smile, the sun shining behind this child-mirage like a golden glow. The blond looked like the personification of kindness. Like an angel.

"Rai." The rescued boy replied, lumbering to his feet and leaning over to brush the dirt from his pants as best he could. His mind still spun, unable to take in all that had happened; it was just too much for his young mind to grasp all at once.

"Let's be friends!' Ren chirped suddenly, oblivious to Rai's confusion.

Rai said nothing and simply stood up straighter. As he mechanically shook the tiny proffered hand, Rai glanced over himself and saw that his efforts had done little to rid his clothes of the dirt they'd collected. He sighed. This would probably just bring him more trouble. Again. Ren watched him curiously, that same smile still on his face, completely unfazed by Rai's less than exuberant, as in nonexistent, reply.

"Wow, you're tall! Hey, how old are you? Are we the same age?" Ren chimed again, his delight not dented in the least. He looked up admiringly at the height of his newly appointed friend. The emerald-eyed boy only blinked at him some more, still not really grasping the situation.

Ren laughed, the sound like music drifting into the air.

"C'mon, let's play!" he cried happily, grabbed Rai by the wrist and began dragging him over to the playground. The taller boy allowed himself to be pulled along, having no real reason to protest, even though it was altogether baffling.

Having reached his destination, the blond hopped excitedly onto one side of a seesaw and grasped his little hands around the metal bar. Swinging his legs, he smiled expectantly at Rai, who only stared a bit dumbfounded at the other side. Though Rai had been in the playground many times, he had never really tried out any of the things it had to offer. No slide, no jungle gym, no sandbox, no swing.

No seesaw for him.

Ren continued to grin happily for a few moments more and then a look of shocked realization came over his gentle features.

"You've never played on a seesaw before, have you?" he asked, truly incredulous.

Embarrassed, a new and uncomfortable feeling for Rai, the brunette ducked his head and shook it. His face felt warm, like he had a fever, but he didn't think he was sick. It was odd and a little disconcerting when his first-ever blush crept over his cheeks.

He stood silently by the seesaw, clenching his fists tightly at his sides and letting his too-long, uncombed hair fall over and hide his face. He squeezed his eyes shut, suddenly and irrationally afraid that now this boy would walk away and leave him; just as everyone else always did, making him wait alone and in pain like every other time until someone finally came for him. Only he knew this pain would hurt more acutely than any other. Already his chest shrunk and twisted, the ache so unknown and sharp that he couldn't breathe.

Only Ren did not leave him. Instead, the boy clambered down and walked over to Rai, gently took his hand and guided him the lowered side of the seesaw. It wasn't until Ren pushed Rai's shoulders down, making him flop clumsily, that Rai even realized he was not about to be abandoned. His green eyes opened slowly and he looked down at his lap. He didn't even remember moving. Then he felt hands, small and warm and soft, clasp over his own and place them on the metal bar in front of him. Still held like this, Ren leaned in and whispered very quietly into Rai's ear.

"You just stay like this and I'll get onto the other side."

Ren's breath tickled Rai's face sweetly, smelling of fruit and candy, and Rai felt his new blush spread downward, making goose pimples and heat rise on the back of his neck. Then Ren's touch was gone and all Rai felt was stupid and confused. To be handled so tenderly was a new experience and his body simply didn't know how to react. It was always punches or kicks or slaps, or more often than not nothing at all; just a simple raking over of disapproving eyes.

And those things did not make you nervous and flushed. They simply hurt.

He raised his head to watch Ren, who had still somehow not forsaken him, as the blond walked over to the raised side of the wooden plank. Ren was a lot shorter than Rai realized and the brunette watched with growing amusement as the boy jumped and hopped and reached, trying to grasp the high end of the seesaw only to fail. The small blond pouted with a crease of concentration on his brow and his hands planted firmly on his hips. Ren sized the plank up and down with a scrutinizing stare, while Rai's grip on the metal bar became tighter and tighter until his knuckles turned white.

He knew this was it, it had to be. The time had come for him to b e alone again.

But Ren was bound and determined to make this work and not a thing, least of all the stupidity of not being able to get on the seesaw, was going to stop him. His pout seemed to sink deeper until suddenly his eyes popped open and he smiled once more, a brightness that could fill the whole schoolyard, spilling out over Rai's little loneliness. The blond boy moved to the center of the seesaw and with an effort, and a few grunts and huffs, managed to swing his short little leg over the wooden plank. Then, with his pink tongue sticking out the side of his mouth in concentration, he inched his way upward until he reached the far end. And finally, with some strangely acrobatic maneuvers he settled himself properly, latched his hands on the bar and smiled triumphantly at Rai.

Rai had watched him all this time as the boy wriggled and fought and at last succeeded. Now he raised his dark eyebrows at the smaller boy in silent question.

Ren just giggled and was suddenly taken by a sneeze. He wiped his face across the sleeve of his shirt and then waved across the vast seesaw distance.

"Now you have to push on the ground with your legs!" The blond shouted encouragingly.

Rai nodded and did as he was told, the action sending him upward and making Ren just barely touch the ground. Size was working against them, but Ren did his best, reaching his toes downward and forcing his weight to follow so that when he kicked back, there was better force behind it.

Rai felt himself falling down, but instinctively mimicked what Ren had done and soon he was flying upward again. It was new for him which sent this pleasant little thrill rushing through his heart. It wasn't so much the seesaw, that was simple enough and not all that exciting. It was the fact that he wasn't alone. Or rather that he was with someone whose goal wasn't to hurt or humiliate or harass him. The tiny hint of a smile crept over his face as he allowed himself to feel.

Ren, innocent and free from troubles as he was, had no idea how important this simple natural act had been to Rai or how much it affected him. Ren just enjoyed the game and the company.

"See, this is what's great about this!" Ren yelled over to Rai, his eyes sparkling. "You need two people!"

The dark-haired boy nodded in answer and whispered a quiet "yeah" which was surely not heard by Ren, though it didn't seem to bother either of them. Rai just watched Ren as the blond reached his toes down and pushed himself up, biting his lip with the effort but grinning just the same. And every other moment, Rai was in the sky, free and flying, but still connected to his new friend by this common playground game.

Friend.

It was a word he'd never expected to use. He liked the way it sounded, rolling it over in his mind. And then he was going up again, up to the clouds and the sky and farther still to space, if he so wanted to believe.

And he smiled, his eyes squeezed shut, a little laugh escaping his open mouth.

It was the first time in his life Rai had ever been happy.

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The afternoon passed pleasantly until the two boys, exhausted but content, sat under the shade of a nearby tree, having run and jumped and swung and run some more at Ren's insistence until their energy had all been spent. Ren did not know why, but looking at the other boy made him a little sad and a little lonely all at the same time. But when Rai smiled and released one of those soft breathy laughs, Ren felt his own happiness swell tenfold, as if filled with that precious, rarely heard gift from Rai.

And that was a feeling he liked.

So he had kept Rai playing and smiling and cheerful, just to get that feeling. Not that this was a thing Rai would ever know or understand.

But it ended all too soon for both. After all, young boys, even with all their energy, tire out quickly and once the two had had enough, they had no choice but to throw themselves onto the ground at the mercy of the waning day.

Rai had never felt so alive nor so utterly worn out before. His heart thumped in his chest and he had to admit, for having his first initial taste of friendship, and more specifically of Ren, he knew he would not be able to give it up. He stole a secretive glance to the blond and saw the sun casting its glow behind him, making his hair that much more golden. Then Ren yawned widely and cutely, his mouth going at an odd angle with his lower lip in one direction and his upper in the other, and stretched his back out, reaching his arms behind his head. His blue striped shirt snuck up, exposing his slightly extended, round little tan belly. Rai's eyes were drawn there, clean and smooth and clear and he reflexively hugged his arms around his own sickly white belly. The hollow one with the purple and yellow bruise that covered a corner and crept over his ribs.

Unaware of Rai's discomfort, Ren flopped himself backward into the dirt, causing some of the dust to come flying up. His shirt stayed bunched up, still exposing his stomach which now went concave from his stretched position. Rai stared at the boy, so naturally content, and found himself blushing.

Friend.

Ren.

He let the interchangeable words settle and mesh and swirl his head even as he continued to stare at Ren's face. The boy's eyes were closed, his lips curled up in a grin, his still baby cheeks puffed and pink from exertion. Then his light brown eyes opened and looked at Rai. His expression softened and he just stared a moment. Then suddenly, Ren reached out and yanked on Rai's arm, making the brunette tumble down to lay on his back next to Ren.

Startled, and not a little nervous, Rai had a hard time trying to get comfortable, squirming this way and that on the unyielding ground.

Ren just laughed at him.

Ignoring this, Rai looked upward and saw that the sky was darkening; it was getting late and with a cold heaviness settling in the pit of his stomach, he knew this soon would end. Subconsciously, he gripped the grass beneath his hands between his small child fingers, as though he could literally hold onto this time.

Ren eyed him curiously, frowned for a second and then without preamble, rolled and scooted himself over so that he lay on his side, cuddled up to Rai. The brunette tensed as Ren rested his hand on the other boy's chest, his hand curled into a small fist. Rai felt Ren sneeze and sniffle and yawn again, blinking a few times to fight the sleepiness. Then Ren raised himself back up to a sitting position to stare down at Rai.

Edging himself up onto his elbows to look at the boy, Rai instantly felt uneasy with those golden brown eyes staring at him, though he didn't know why.

Ren titled his head to the side. "You really don't talk much, do you?" Rai turned red and turned his head away. Ren laughed and went on. "You're weird! But you know what?" Ren leaned into Rai conspiratorially. "I like you."

Once more, Rai felt the warm sweet breath tickle his ear and out of instinct, he tensed his jaw and shoulders, his wide eyes darting everywhere but towards Ren. The blond giggled again, his breath dancing over Rai's neck and pulled away. This time, Rai did look at him, flushed and awkward, in startling contrast to Ren's completely relaxed manner.

So innocent was Ren's smile, so sweet were his eyes, that Rai really thought he really was exactly what an angel would look like. He even fancied, for the briefest of moments, that he saw long, white, feathery wings stretching back behind the Ren, fading into the deep cobalt blue of the sky. Rai rubbed his eye with the curved knuckles of his hand and when he opened them again, that little trick of light and imagination was gone.

But the impression steadfastly remained.

Rai could feel the warmth of Ren's leg as it nestled up to him, could sense the softness of Ren's cheek as it brushed against his, the warm tingle of air when Ren whispered into his ear. And for some reason he didn't understand, it made him anxious and dizzy, filling his previous emptiness with something comfortable yet exciting.

"Re-en!" A woman's singsong call interrupted his reverie and Rai's arms almost slipped out from under him.

Ren's head perked up at the sound of his name. "That's my mom!"

And just like that, Rai's joy fractured all around him and tumbled down like so many shards of shattered glass. His happiness jumped up and ran over to the waiting arms of a kind looking woman who wore an inviting smile upon her face. And Rai couldn't help but feel like the puppy bought on a whim at Christmas, forgotten with the rest of the day and finally packed up and sent away to wait and hope and pray for another new home.

One that wouldn't just leave him.

But he had no such delusions, despite his deepest desires, and he watched forlornly, though not regrettably at Ren as the boy hugged his mother and chattered on wildly. Rai couldn't make out the words they spoke. But then, he didn't want to hear, to know as he was forgotten. So he simply didn't listen.

The sun cast a harsh red and gold glow over the playground as it dipped slowly beneath the horizon. His world felt cold and hazy and unpleasant, and oh so agonizingly familiar. It was a harder day to swallow than most, but it wasn't really a different one. He told himself this quietly to quell the growing ache.

Then the brunette stood and headed for his discarded backpack, the bag lost in the unexpected joy of the day and Rai prepared himself for the inevitable wait.

"Rai! Hey Rai!" Ren's voice soared through the empty air of the schoolyard like an unearthly beacon. Rai stopped, stunned, unbelieving. His eyes squeezed shut, he prayed to whatever would listen to make this not a dream.

Ren, oblivious as ever in that childlike way of his, only went forward. The small pounding of Ren's little feet sent waves through the dirt to Rai, making his toes curl as if he could grab onto it. He waited there in the dusk of day for reality to hit him, brutal and sharp as it always did.

But what touched him instead was a tiny hand, warm and gentle that held his shoulder and turned him around. Every last nerve of Rai was tense, his eyes still held shut, his shoulders pulled upward.

"Whatcha doing?"

Rai cautiously cracked one eye open. Before him stood Ren, not an illusion but the boy himself, an adorable pout on his face and concerned glint to his eye. "Why're your eyes closed, huh?"

Rai opened his green eyes completely and looked straight at Ren. Rai shook his head, dismissing the question and feeling a little dizzy from the promise of answered prayers.

Then two hands wrapped around the brunette's wrist and tugged. "C'mon, c'mon, Rai!" The blond shouted eagerly with a huge grin on his face, the events of the previous minutes already forgotten. "I wantcha to meet somebody!"

And again, that tiny pink tongue stuck out the side of Ren's mouth as he strained, trying to pull the larger boy after him. Rai smiled. Maybe, just maybe, he shouldn't have doubted Ren. But trust was a hard thing to give when it has always been abused before. Looking at the anxious features of Ren's face, Rai decided to grant mercy on his small friend and took a step forward. A slightly sudden step that Ren wasn't expecting and almost made him fall. With a little careful footwork though, Ren managed to keep his balance and beamed proudly.

Rai's smile softened.

And in the next moment, he found that their hands were linked and he was being dragged off somehow in the momentum of Ren's enthusiasm.

Without realizing it, Rai was face to face with the woman of minutes before, her smile no less genuine and her eyes sparkling. They were of a different color than Ren's, but the open friendliness in them was exactly the same.

"See, see!" Yipped Ren, nearly bouncing out of his skin. "This is him, Mom! Rai, my new friend!"

"Glad to meet you, Rai," The woman said in that sweet singsong voice.

Ren took both Rai's hands in his own gently, almost reverently, and moved him towards the woman as if he were presenting a gift.

"Rai," he said, just as happily as before. "This is my mom."

Unable to break his ingrained habits, Rai ducked his head and replied with a barely audible "Hi."

The brunette felt a small squeeze on his hands and felt the now familiar pink heat rise up his neck. "He's a little quiet," Ren said, rather matter-of-factly. "But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with him!"  
The last was said defiantly as f Ren expected his mother to say something and he had to be on the offensive to protect his new friend. But the woman only laughed softly. "Of course it doesn't, Ren. Silly boy."

Rai could feel the smile on Ren's face through his fingers. And suddenly, those hands were swinging and Ren, in that unobtrusive, natural way, made Rai look at him. "Maybe someday you could stay at my house. My mom's a really great cook. You could come for dinner!" Ren's excitement grew with every word that came from his mouth. "Can he Mom?"

Her long delicate finger threaded their way through her son's hair as she looked down on him. "I'm sure we could work something out."

Now Ren really did begin jumping up and down and screaming happily. Rai felt the blush turn hotter, redder, and dutifully kept his eyes glued to the ground at his feet. Ren's mood was infectious, but like all infections, it could become dangerous and until he was sure that this was all real and true and lasting, he didn't want to let it set in.

Even so, he dared himself to hope.

"Now, now, Ren, " the blond's mother chided gently. "That's enough. We have to be going home now. It was very nice to meet you, Rai." She gave the boy another smile and nodded .

Rai twisted a finger with his hand and smiled. "It was nice to meet you too, ma'am."

Then the woman took a sniffling Ren and led him away, off into the encroaching darkness, far away from the cold and lonely schoolyard. Ren continued to look back and wave, shouting, "I'll see you tomorrow, Rai!" over and over again like a promise.

The brunette watched with the new grin on his face as the light seemed to follow the happy family and disappear into the night.

_'How lucky'_, Rai thought to himself, gazing at he empty space. A loving mother, a warm home, a safe embrace. They were all the things he wanted too, but would never have.

The reality hit him hard and fast, snuffing out the glimmer of joy that had entered his life.

_'How unfair life is.'_

He'd never much liked his life, but it only just occurred to him now, just how lop-sided it was that by pure chance one child would have everything and the other left with nothing.

"What are you doing out here in the dark like an idiot! Get over here!"

Rai winced at the familiar harsh bark of the orphanage's caretaker. Clutching his overstuffed backpack in his little arms, he looked up warily at the man, thin and pale and pinch-faced and nothing at all like the woman Ren called "Mom". He shuffled sheepishly over to him and he immediately cuffed him hard on the head. "Do you realize I had to come out here this late just to get you? I had to pay Soichiro extra to watch the others. Useless little brat!" He berated Rai as though the boy was to blame for _his _forgetfulness.

But Rai made no protest, he never did, and when long fingernails bit into the soft flesh of his arm, he didn't make a sound. Even when dragged behind the man like a piece of luggage, mumbling angrily the whole way back to the orphanage, Rai still did not say a word.

Rai even stayed silent,continuing to clasp his bag, after he'd been tossed through brittle, unwelcoming doors and into an overcrowded room with an annoyed, "Waste of money!"

The door slammed loudly behind him and the other children, sitting about lazily on their dirty beds in their secondhand clothes, looked at him each in turn with angry, hate-filled glares as he walked by. As always, Rai paid them no mind and simply settled himself onto his own pathetic cot, tucked into a corner and hid himself under the sheets, not even bothering to change his clothes. The strange glowing darkness that filled the tented blanket made him think and wonder and hope.

Ren said "tomorrow."

Rai wanted it so much to be true.

But only one thing was for certain; the ice that had long ago encased his tiny child's heart had begun to melt.

But whether that was for good or for ill had yet to be determined.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Diabolo was created by Kei Kusunoki and Kaoru Ohashi

A/N: This will be four chapters long, uploading one a day. A silly story with romantic 7 year-olds . . . : )

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Chapter 2: To the Infirmary 

"It's because of you that we got extra chores!"

"And now old man Kobayashi won't let us go to the playground after school!"

"It's all your fault!"

"I hate you!"

The kick that landed him on his back was familiar. It was sharp and quick and painful and had often accompanied his early morning chores. After the affair of nights ago, on the blessed day Rai had been brought home late, the situation in the orphanage had only deteriorated. There was no safe haven for Rai anymore, no sanctuary, no moments of solace, to be found hidden in the depths of the kitchen as he performed his daily duties. The other children were unhappy and they made it agonizingly clear to him every minute of the endless day.

But he did not mind, he did not care. There was not a day that he had survived unbruised or uncut in all his life, so this in its manner was routine. Anything different would have felt odd.

No, Rai did not think anything special about this change of events.

Only one thought filled his mind.

Ren.

Friend.

He had not seen him since that day that felt like a lifetime ago, when his life had changed forever with the utterance of that one simple, new word. Every day since had been more torturous than the last in its strange way. His existence appeared so much harsher, now that he'd been given a glimpse of what it could have been.

It was unfair and the tinge of jealousy stained his heart.

And he gathered that jealousy into one place, locked away and free to fester and grow.

But this did not stop him from wanting to see Ren. Rather, it made the want sharper, more needy, like the hidden parts of his soul longed to see that other world. He wanted to see Ren, his friend.

_His_ friend.

Yet he had not.

The school building itself seemed to conspire against him. Each time he went in search of Ren, every step he took around the schoolyard was met with empty disappointment.

It wasn't fair.

He sat now under the shade of a tree,_ that_ tree, and yanked hunks of grass from the ground, hurling them aside as if they were to blame. He was having, in a weirdly first time, a tantrum. But it was a quiet one, pouting in the corner of the yard, kept to himself so that no one much cared. He was turned so for inward on himself that he did not even hear the clang of the bell announcing the end of lunch.

No, instead he stayed right where he was and punished those recalcitrant blades one by guilty one.

Even the raucous swell of noise that issued forth like a wave from the school as the second half of children spilled out did not reach his ears. The children ran and tumbled and bubbled around him, some curious at the new student but most passing him by, though nearly every one noticed the boy who should not be there.

"Rai? What're you doing? I've never seen you here before."

The voice was blissfully cruel and the one he had most desired to hear. Rai slowly raised his head and there _he_ crouched, dirty blond hair, big brown eyes and curious little creased brow, staring at him. Rai's mouth spread into a wide, silly, stupid grin. Instantly, Ren smiled back, and needing no further cue, sat under the shade of the tree and rested his head on Rai's shoulder. The hair that tickled Rai's neck was soft and fluttery and made his cheeks blush.

But he did not mind, the relief that flooded him almost made him dizzy.

He was glad not to be alone.

And he couldn't stop wishing that Ren were like him; parentless, homeless, stuck in the orphanage with no one else to turn to. Which wasn't fair either, but at least then it wouldn't be fair together. And he liked that idea, of keeping Ren to himself.

He should have felt bad for thinking this, he suspected. But he didn't.

Feeling the warm sunshine of Ren by his side made him want to trap him and cage him and keep him forever.

And Rai saw nothing bad about that.

"So whatcha doing here?" Ren asked, breaking into Rai's somewhat questionable line of thought.

"I missed the bell." Rai said softly, then realized what a stupid thing that was.

Rai felt the gentle shaking of laughter against his side. "Silly." Ren said. Then he turned his head to look at Rai, chin planted on the boy's shoulder and continued. "Then you should be in class now."

Rai turned to look at his friend and they almost bumped noses, making Rai feel very warm and not a little embarrassed. He quickly looked away and shrugged.

The blond hummed, sending a warm rush of air cascading over Rai's ear and neck that made him feel shuddery and funny and uncomfortable. He shifted uselessly where he sat. Then suddenly Ren bolted up, grabbing Rai by the hand and trying unsuccessfully to pull him to his feet.

"C'mon Rai! We gotta get you to class!" Ren's eyes were squeezed shut, his little pink tongue sticking out with the effort.

Rai chuckled softly. 'So cute.' He decided to get to his feet, jumping up, and combined with the continual pulling on his arm, stumbled and fell straight into Ren, causing them both to fall back to the ground.

Ren let out a grunted "Oof!" and immediately began laughing. The vibrations of his happiness echoed through his chest and up through Rai's, who lay sprawled on top of him like a blanket. Rai again felt that tingle of something unfamiliar, both pleasant and scary and quickly got to his hands and knees. Looking down at his friend, his bright happy face, his laughter like music, Rai felt that certain tug once more.

He wanted to keep him. Wanted to have Ren all to himself so that the only thing that would make him happy, the only thing that he would look at would be Rai.

How quickly the brunette had changed from needy to greedy.

But he didn't see anything wrong with that.

Ren had come to him.

Ren had started this, had pushed it along.

Therefore, it was only logical that Rai got to have him and no one else.

Perfect sense.

Ren's laughter slowly died down and, wiping the joyful tears from his eyes, looked up at the brunette. "That didn't work very well!" he chirped, but then his expression changed to something unreadable. "What's wrong?"

Rai was staring strangely, so intently so it made a shiver run down Ren's spine and he wasn't sure if it was good or bad. The taller boy was breathing heavily and his face looked flushed with fever. Overcome with worry, Ren immediately sat up, forcing Rai to do the same, and tucked his little hand under dark bangs to feel Rai's forehead.

"You're not sick, are you? I was the past coupla days. I hope I didn't give it to you!" The blond bit his lower lip between his teeth and Rai's temperature seemed to increase thinking about just how adorable that expression was.

But then relief washed over Rai like a cool breeze. _Sick_, he thought to himself. _Ren was sick._ Not that should make him happy, but it did. It meant Ren hadn't been avoiding him these past fews days. He'd been sick!

Rai's smile nearly split his face and he had never been so happy before. But then, he'd been happy only once before in any context, so he had little to compare it to.

"You feel like you're getting warmer," Ren said with an anxious little pout. "Forget class, we should get you to the nurse."

The little blond jumped to his feet, hands clamped around Rai's arm, trying to pull him up. Now in a bit of a pleasant daze, Rai stood up easily and trailed patiently behind Ren, whose concern seemed to grow exponentially as the two headed inside. Ren kept taking quick, concerned glances behind him, which only made Rai's smiler wider, in turn making Ren worry even more.

In a short time, far too short in Rai's estimation, they reached the nurse's office, and with a gentle knock and a friendly call, Ren gained them entrance.

The two boys were met with the sweet, honest smile of one Nurse Yomogi, a plump woman with a kind face.

"Ah, Ren dear, are you feeling better?" she asked.

Ren blushed a bit and nodded. "Yes, thank you."

Rai's forehead creased and his smile flipped to a frown. What was Ren doing looking like that at this, this nurse?! Didn't he understand that he was only supposed to look at Rai that way? The dark-haired boy felt every nerve in his body tighten and the heat rise once more, but in an unpleasant fashion much different than before.

"But, but, I'm not here for me. It's for my friend."

Rai felt a reassuring squeeze from Ren's hand that had slipped down to grasp his. Green eyes flickered over to Ren's soft brown ones, ones which were centered on him. On only him.

It made Rai feel dizzy and lightheaded and important. His frown slowly reversed itself into a shy smile.

Only for him.

His friend.

_His friend._

"Is that so?" The nurse stood from her chair and walked over to crouch down in front of Rai. "Well, we can't have one of our best students getting sick now, can we, Rai?"

His eyes grew wide and his mouth flopped open as if he had no control over his motor functions.

"You're one of the best students?!" Ren cried with surprise. "I didn't know that!"

Rai only flicked his eyes at Ren momentarily before returning his gaze to the nurse.

"Y-you," he stammered out. "You know my name?"

She smiled and answered, "Of course I do, Rai."

And in that second Rai felt something a little less like jealousy and a little more like fondness for the woman. His face took on the barest hint of friendliness when he looked at her.

"Now let's see," she said, slipping her hand beneath his unruly fringe. She pursed her lips and tilted her head.

"He's O.K., isn't he?" asked a worried Ren, squeezing his friend's hand.

Rai blushed.

The nurse's eyes darted from one boy to the other and then her mouth pursed into a tiny smile.

"Well," she said, addressing Rai. "You _are _a little warm."

She stood back up with two pairs of eyes, one green, one gold, watching her rather intently. "But I think all you really need is a little sleep." Her hand gently ruffled Rai's hair and for some reason, he didn't much mind.

Ren beamed. "That's great!" And once again, he began bouncing up and down.

Rai looked to his friend and grinned at the wide-eyed, innocent happiness of him. And he realized that the infection that he'd feared had already seeped under his skin and wouldn't let go.

Then the bell rang and the three stopped.

"O.K., O.K.," Nurse Yomogi said, forcefully untangling the two tiny hands. "It's time for you to be getting to class, Ren."

"Awww," the blond whined.

Rai snickered in that breathy way of his.

Nurse Yomogi raised an eyebrow, but said nothing about this. "Come along, Rai. You can take a nap here."  
The woman put a gentle hand to Rai's back and led him to the free bed. After she got him in and settled, the crisp white sheets tucked up under his chin, she gave a stern look to Ren, who had yet to leave.

But Ren ignored the look and shuffled over to Rai, leaning in close, as if sharing a secret. "I'll come back after school is over to see how you are." His breath was the warm sweetness Rai had grown to know and love as it flickered over his ear.

He only nodded and ducked further under the protective covers. With another warning glance from Yomogi and no more excuses, Ren ran out the door and off to class.

Rai watched the empty office doorway for a long time, the sheets cool against his hot skin. He kept thinking of his friend, so cute, so emotional, such the little worry wart. Rai wanted to know what it was like to be like that, or perhaps more accurately what it would be like to own that, to have its every glance and touch directed at him. His hands, still clutching the sheet, began to sweat, his body heat rising. There was the stirring of something deep in Rai's gut and he squirmed a bit to shake it off. Having never felt such emotions before, he knew not what to do with them. He shifted his weight on the mattress.

"So, you're friends with Ren, are you?" The nurse asked, cutting into his thoughts.

He turned his attention, almost jerkily, to the woman and nodded stiffly. Sitting at her desk, the woman took a long, searching, somewhat amused, look at Rai. "Friends, hmm?" Se angled her head and quirked her lip up on one side. Then she turned away and began scribbling in a notebook. "Well, that's good, Rai. That's very, very good."

He didn't know why she would say that, but Rai most heartily agreed.

"Get some rest now."

So Rai curled up on his side, pulled the covers around him and closed his eyes.

Sleep was not long in coming.

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Ren was true to his word and as the last bell sounded, he rushed like a rocket to the infirmary to check on his sick friend.

He was very worried about Rai. How could he not be? What kind of friend would that make him? Besides, Rai seemed to keep everything to himself so that Ren didn't know what to think.

Quiet was O.K., but keeping all these secrets was not.

Especially when it meant Rai was sick and wouldn't do anything about it, not even tell anyone!

With a firm nod to no one, Ren promised himself not to let Rai do anything like that again.

Of course, it was all very silly when one thought on it. They'd spent only hours together on one day and already they were attached as if fated. But Ren was a simple boy and din't think or concern himself with the bigger questions. He like Rai and the way he felt when with him.

That was enough.

Ren knocked gently on the large white door and when Nurse Yomogi answered, she greeted him with a smile and a yawning Rai standing behind her. The boy was rubbing the sleep from his eyes with his fists, his hair a bit scattered, but he looked better, if a bit rumpled. Ren smiled, thinking how unusual a sight this must be, a just woken-up and untidy Rai.

But he also looked good, in Ren's humble opinion, not all closed off and sad like when first they met He looked relaxed and at ease and pleasingly unkempt. It was a look Ren could, and would very much like to, get used to. He watched with interest as Rai dropped his hands to his sides and blearily opened his eyes. It wasn't until then, with the grogginess of sleep still infusing them, that Ren realized how startling green Rai's eyes were. Strong and sharp and rich.

Intense.

And for a moment, it made him feel pleasingly odd, a warm tingle rushing over his skin and into his stomach. But not knowing exactly what that meant, he simply accepted it and smiled.

Rai blinked a few times with his mouth wide in a mid-yawn, but when he caught sight of Ren he quickly clamped his mouth shut and went pink.

"Well, look at that," the nurse said smilingly. "What a good friend you are, Ren. Did you see, Rai? Come now." Delicately, she placed her hand on Rai's back and pushed forward until he was face to face with Ren.

Ren's smile turned into a slight frown, clearly distressed. "What's wrong, Rai? You're all pink again."

Rai's eyes widened and he shook his head, as if the color could be shaken right off. All it served was to make his hair an even more disheveled mess.

"Now you're almost red!" Concerned once more, Ren took firm hold of both Rai's shoulders and leaned in close to examine the boy's face, which of course only made things worse. Rai's green eyes took on a strange shade, somewhat darker, somewhat deeper and he shrugged back into his shoulders, as if they could offer him protection. Worried, Ren accosted the woman whom he thought had all the answers. When it came to matters of health, anyway.

"Nurse Yomogi! Nurse Yomogi!"

Stifling a laugh behind the back of her hand and brushing away Ren's worries with the other, the amused woman reassured the frazzled little blond. "It's perfectly fine, Ren. Nothing to worry about." Softly, she ran her fingers through Rai's hair to straighten it and he let her.

"What do you mean? He looks like he has a fever or something." Thoroughly confused, Ren scrunched up his nose and volleyed his attention wildly between the two.

"It's fine," The nurse reiterated and smiled, a bit mysteriously. "You'll understand eventually."

Ren narrowed his eyes to examine Rai quite personally, not quite ready to believe the woman's words, even though she was the expert.

Rai tried to hide farther into his slumped shoulders.

"Enough!" She cried good-naturedly, gesturing with her hands. "Off with you two. And remember Rai, should you ever need anything, feel free to stop by."

Rai nodded sheepishly and in the next moment was whisked away by a jubilant Ren, whose repeated happy shouts of "Thank you!" reflected back across the hall. And though he would not have believed it just seconds before, Ren did feel better. Rai's hand was large and gentle in his smaller hand, but at the same time it seemed to fit.

Ren turned his face back to his friend and smiled. Very shyly, almost scared, Rai smiled back. And it filled Ren with a sense of wonder, of awe, of perfection. This is how Rai should always look. Without the shadow of doubt, Ren knew this to be true. Because when Rai smiled at him like that, he felt warm and fuzzy and nice and happy and every good thing that he could.

He was glad to have Rai.

He was glad to have him happy.

Things were just better that way.

And though he had barely just met Rai, Ren really couldn't imagine having never known him. It was strange and fuzzy and right and he didn't need to think about how that could happen so fast. It just did, and that's all there was to it.

Ren was just happy and that it was his way. He squeezed Rai's hand affectionately.

And Rai squeezed back, thinking very much the same things.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Diabolo was created by Kei Kusunoki and Kaoru Ohashi

* * *

Chapter 3: At the Dinner Table

Days and weeks and even months went by, forever in each other's company, as if they had always been that way. And no matter what Rai faced in the orphanage, the beatings, the chores, the angry looks and words, it was all worth it for these times in the schoolyard with Ren.

He knew it to be unfair. Ren's seemingly blessed and perfect life, so different from Rai's own. Supremely unfair. But it was an unfairness that Rai intended to take full advantage of, stealing a bit from Ren and keeping it.

Keeping Ren.

All to himself.

If the smiles that the adorable little dirty-blond-headed boy wore were any indication, Ren did not mind at all. By each look and grin and extended hand, Ren was telling Rai that he _wanted _to be kept. Whatever fairness or unfairness was there to be had in the world would be theirs together.

Theirs alone, if need be.

The sun was setting, down behind the jungle gym, its shadows like a maze cast upon the ground. The world gleamed red and orange, a glow both beautiful and horrible. These hateful colors always heralded the leaving of Ren, the return to the darker life Rai did not want. The life he had always known and accepted, as awful as it was, because it was his.

Until Ren.

But then all his thoughts tumbled out as he too was tumbled to the ground face first, the now familiar, comfortable weight of the smaller boy landing on top of him. Rai felt the giggles of Ren's body, the heaves of his lungs as he took in large gulps of much needed air. Ren's laughter was a medicine, filling the air and making everything better. With an effort, Rai rolled over until Ren rested on him belly to belly, Ren's tan little fingers perched on Rai's chest. The brunette hitched up to his elbows for a moment, just to look at the other boy who smiled at him, head firmly resting on his folded hands with no intention of moving. Ren rose and fell in Rai's vision, taken by the movement of Rai's breathing chest beneath him. The blond smiled, his white teeth showing, and Rai grinned back, no teeth, and with a sigh flopped back down. He could feel the actions of the smaller boy as he hiked himself up further, just to the point where his head tucked up beneath Rai's chin, his feathery soft hair tickling sensitive skin. Ren sighed deeply in contentment and turned his head to the side, scooted himself comfortable and closed his eyes.

Rai stared up wordlessly at the sky, the warmth and weight of Ren liked a most beloved blanket. Rai's hands rested uselessly at his sides, itchy and sweaty and nervous. There had been many a day like this, many an hour, where the fluttery pleasantness crept over Rai's skin, making his fingers tremble and his breath catch, leaving him with uncertainty of what to do. He closed his eyes and breathed in Ren's clean, still baby-like scent. Sugared and powdery and intoxicating. He took a breath and drank in the heat of Ren's body, noting the differences in temperature, the relative softness of flesh or hardness of bone. His fingers twitched at his sides like jittery birds, anxious and yet fearful of taking their first flight. Such a simple step off the highest branch could lead to an exhilarating soar through the air or a disastrous final crash to the ground. Rai swallowed thickly, his throat bobbing against Ren's head.

Ren laughed at the sensation and shifted himself a little bit closer, as if he could form Rai into just the shape he wanted.

Those twitching, itching fingers of Rai's clenched, gathering their courage. Then up they moved, off the ground, into the clear air, over to the warmly enticing little body.

But just before making full contact, the two boys were jerked from their ritual when they were forcefully separated, making Rai jolt up and Ren crash down. The ground kicked dirt all around them, making them choke. Ren coughed, huddled on the ground while Rai stood halfway straight, his arm held tightly, and none-too-kindly, by the unwelcome interference.

"Rai!" The voice was like nails on a chalkboard, shrieked and unrelenting. "What do you think you're doing here? You should be home by now. Useless, pathetic brat!"

The slap hit so loud that the sound reverberated like damnation through the otherwise empty schoolyard.

Rai stood stunned for a moment, used to this, but also thinking how very cruel it was to happen now. With Ren, ruining everything. The unfairness of reality burning into a precious place it was not wanted.

"Get away from him!" Ren's little body catapulted itself towards the sour-faced man like a living projectile. He clamped his short arms around the man's branch-like one and pulled, trying to use his scant weight to force it free. Gravity however was not so much Ren's ally in this and he was mostly ignored.

"How many times have I told you to be back by four o'clock? Four o'clock! How hard is that, you stupid worthless idiot?!" The man's pinched face shrunk tighter. "I don't have the time to go chasing around after you. Stupid little boy. Wasting your time with this twisted little crush. It is unnatural, an abomination! A sin against God himself!"

Rai stared up at the man, but he didn't see him. Rai's eyes overflowed with tears that weren't there, his brain shouted for Ren, over and over, to please please not see, not hear. To not know that maybe there was truth in what she said. That he was in fact a monster. Because he knew that what he felt for Ren was not just simple friendship and something other than brotherhood.

It was more or different, or somehow to the left but in all ways just not quite the same.

But he didn't want Ren to know because he didn't understand it either and by not understanding, he thought it might be bad.

But as it turned out, there was no cause for worry. Ren was instead fighting with all his meager might to release Rai from this villain's clutches, his small ineffective body weighing down on the man's bony arm. Up until now, the birdlike man in the thrift store suit had dismissed the tiny blond pest, but with his constant cries to let Rai go and the annoying pull on his arm, he could take it no longer. With a power it seemed unlikely in a scrawny man of his size, he shoved Ren, innocence and all, off of him and down onto the ground.

"And you, you annoying little rug rat!" The man shouted, turning his venom on Ren. "Just as bad, trailing around like some love-sick puppy! I should make it so you two never see each other again. Your 'friendship' is a blight upon nature!" Then he yanked on Rai's slim arm, making him stumble and nearly fall though the man paid no attention to this. He certainly didn't care. "Come, Rai, we're going."

And like an idiot, Rai followed, dumbstruck and silent, caught up in this nightmare that his young mind could barely conceive of. All the while his mind screaming, _no,no,no,no,no!_ so loudly it drowned out everything else He couldn't be separated from Ren. Anything, _anything_ but that. He needed that small hand in his, the laughing smiles, those big golden brown eyes. He needed that weight resting against him as surely as he needed to breathe. He swallowed, unable to fully digest what was happening.

Back in the dirt, Ren sat trapped in the same terrible loop of unpreventable, unimaginable events. His lower lip trembled, the tears in his eyes brimming over like an overfilled cup. He didn't know what was happening exactly, who this person was or how he dared try to take Rai away. He knew only that it _couldn't _be happening. It just couldn't.

It was unfair!

Yes, he had other friends and he had his family, but it was not the same. Rai was different, special, connected to him in a way he had yet to entirely grasp but knew was there and real and important and couldn't just be stolen away like that! His nails bit into the ground beneath him and the heat of his anger and fear, of a caliber he had never known before, began to rise in him, pooling its strength into one singular spot ready to strike. Slowly, deliberately, he got his legs beneath him and rose up. No one would treat Rai like this. Ren wouldn't let them. That boy with the brilliant green eyes was Ren's best friend and Ren would fight for him. He would fight and be the strongest he would have to be.

He would protect the ones he cared for.

To whatever lengths necessary.

A small, boy-sized step and he was that much closer.

And another, and another.

But Rai was walking away, not glancing back, having given in once more to some preconceived notion of worthlessness.

Well, Ren would show him. Just how worthy and how important he was.

Another step.

He wouldn't just stand by and watch this happen. Not when there was still the chance he could do something.

"Excuse me." The new voice that spoke unexpectedly was constrained, almost overly proper.

All three in the strange play stopped, turning to face the intrusion. Ren's mother stood there with a smile taut and tight, the lips sliding over her teeth thinly. She took a step forward and her strides were strong and sure, as was the hand she placed on her son's shoulder which she used to guide him along. The two finally stopped, squarely in front of the others. And then Ren's mother spoke again, in that same clenched tone, the veil of a threat threading through her words. "But I believe you owe my son an apology."

The man, willowy and sharp-angled in his oversized jacket with the worn elbows, stood out starkly in contrast as he looked Ren's mother up an down appraisingly. He sneered with ill-humor and quirked an eyebrow. But in lieu of an apology, he uttered a pathetic, "_That's_ your son?" In clear derision, a disapproving statement as if Ren were a cold, dead fish four days old rather than the cute little boy he was.

But Ren's mother remained unaffected. If anything, her smile became that much more dangerous. "That did not sound like an apology."

Old man Kobayashi snorted.

Ren's mother blinked slowly, in long-practiced patience. "_You owe my son an apology_. And a promise to never do anything of the sort again. Pushing around little children and calling them names! It is probably the only thing you can do in that poor, pathetic life of yours to show your supposed power. Such a dangerous, strong man you are." She curled her lip and her face became ugly. "You should not even be allowed near any of them, it is clear you do not have the . ." She waved her hands, searching for the correct word. "constitution. You need to have a thick skin to bully babies, lest you be bullied yourself."

The insinuation was not lost on Kobayashi, though it clearly was on the boys, neither of whom were paying a lick of attention to their guardians' conversation. Rai had gone back to shamefully staring at the ground as Ren watched him anxiously, biting his lip between his teeth. Ren did not like it when Rai looked like that, so he reached out his hand, shaking and worried, and touched just lightly against the brunette's shoulder. The contact caused Rai to raise his head slowly, a blank sort of look on his face, lost and scared, and trying to hide within itself. Ren, not knowing what else to do, squeezed Rai's arm gently an offered up a shy, timid, yet supportive smile.

It was as if the world had suddenly opened up for Rai once again as it became clear that he was not about to be dismissed or tossed aside. Ren had not heard, or cared, or believed, about all the horrible things Kobayashi had said.

Rai blinked his big green eyes and smiled back, only faintly, but the effect it had was blinding as Ren's face brightened beautifully.

And so it was that neither boy seemed much to notice or see anything that went on around them.

Only each other.

"I do not take well to threats, Ms. . . ?" Old man Kobayashi said narowly, seeking a name.

Ren's mother smiled, too sweetly. "Kimura." she answered, delighting in the way the already pale man's face blanched further to a grayish, ghostly pallor. "And I would never do such a base thing as threaten." Her smile deepened. "I do believe that now _I _am also owed an apology."

Old man Kobayashi nearly fainted, stumbling over his words and the prominent foot in her mouth, professing his "heartfelt apologies" among the constant repeating of "Mrs. Kimura", as if the name itself held some special power.

Though in some sense, it essentially did.

Ren's mother continued to smile menacingly, her teeth like ivory little daggers in her mouth. "Well, isn't it nice to know that propriety has not fallen completely by the wayside in our day and age." Purred in a voice that clearly did not mean it. Her eyes flitted down to the boys, her precious son and his friend and she took in the way they looked at each other. She saw how Ren's nervous hand held Rai's and how Rai's shoulders seemed slumped like a beaten animal, cowed and accepting of its fate.

But she also saw how their hands meshed, their eyes locked as if nothing else even existed.

She did not know what to think of her son's sudden, strong, and damnably inexplicable attachment to this new boy, but he was her son and if this Rai was what would make him happy, then this Rai is what he would have. Besides, it was clear that the boy was poorly treated, had never known what a real family could be like. She thought perhaps it was high time he found out, so that he would know there were better things, better people in this world than this odious old creature.

"And I must apologize to you," she said to the man whose name she didn't care to learn, with about as much sincerity as was given her, "But I forgot to tell you. Rai will be having dinner at our house tonight. I meant to mention it earlier. I guess it just simply slipped my mind." With a flourish, she passed her hand over her forehead, as if brushing off a memory and then donned an expression of blamelessness. "If that's alright with you, of course."

Finally catching on to the discussion taking place above them, both boys stopped and looked up. Ren grinned madly at his mother, his joy like a light in the darkness, and Rai looked at her with a mix of doubt, relief and outright wonder. He didn't even notice the way his hand swung back and forth at the end of his arm as Ren's excitement overtook him.

Amidst this all, old man Kobayashi bumbled like the schoolboy she hadn't been for years, caught off guard and trying to maneuver a way out of it, but finding nothing, conceded with sugary acidity. "Of course, Mrs. Kimura. If only Rai had told me of this . . ."

Ren's mother waved off the excuse. "No matter. He will come with us now and I will drop him off home afterward so that he may go straight to bed." Again, the intimation was obvious. Rai would be having a respite, at least for this one night, or else Mrs. Kimura would make things very uncomfortable for old man Kobayashi.

And she certainly could. Such is the power of wealth and prominence.

So without saying another word or waiting for an answer, Ren's mother pulled her son, who in turn pulled Rai, out of the schoolyard and into her waiting car.

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It was like nothing Rai had ever seen before. Like nothing he'd ever concocted in his imagination. How could he when he'd never even known such places existed?

It was not as if the Kimuras lived in lavish luxury. But for all the cleanliness, newness and warmth exhibited in their modest home, it may have well been a palace to Rai's experience. For Rai was used to dirty, shabby, half-kept rooms where the layers of grime could be peeled off with a knife and where some of the numerous residents could be heard crawling in the walls deep into the hours of the night.

He was used to darkness, to unwelcome things hidden in the shadows. But the Kimura home was none of these things. It was bright as though the sun had been captured and put on display inside solely for their benefit. He stared like a wide-eyed fool, his mouth open and his head craned back as he took in all the unexpected wonder.

But mixed in with this was what had now become a common pang of jealousy, twisting like a rusted screw into the still-beating center of his heart.

Part of him wanted to show Ren what unfairness was.

Then there was the feel of warm softness surrounding him, a gentle attack as Ren wrapped his arms around Rai's neck, resting his little blond head on Rai's shoulder. And away vanished all Rai's bitter thoughts, like smoke into the wind. Again, the dark-haired boy noticed every curve and angle of Ren's small frame pressing against his back, so near that Rai felt his mind begin to spin. He turned his head to look at Ren's face, bright and adorable and Rai smiled that quiet, almost enigmatic smile of his.

Then, without really thinking about it, Ren leaned closer and quickly pecked Rai's cheek with his lips, an automatic and natural thing for him to give anyone he really cared for. It was over far too soon and Ren's arms fell away as that little bundle of joy ran off into the interior of the home.

Rai stood blearily stunned, not sure what he should think or feel. Lifting his hand to his cheek, he could still somehow sense the impression of Ren's lips. And Rai just stood there, hand to his cheek, bemused and sleepy until Ren rushed back out and hauled him away.

Still dazed, Rai allowed himself to be dragged about, as Ren gave him the "special grand tour". But Rai paid scant attention. He was still thinking about that reflexive, innocent kiss.

He didn't know why he should become so fixated on it, but he did.

His cheek still felt flushed.

And then, as if magically transported, he found himself in the kitchen somehow, not even knowing how he got there. The smells in the air woke him up. He stood amidst the savory, mouth-watering scents of what he could only assume was dinner. The sweet smell of garlic and spice filled the room and made his neglected little tummy grumble in anticipation.

He heard a giggle.

Ren was grinning at him like a pleased kitten who had gotten all the cream. "Don't worry." he said around his smiling lips. "We'll be eating soon."

Rai nodded, and embarrassed, looked around the kitchen. It was small, intimate, with flecks of cornflower blue decorating the walls in an indistinguishable pattern. The table was rounded by four chairs, although there were only three Kimuras, and Rai felt in the strange small parts of his self that the last chair had been waiting for him. He liked to think that anyway.

This was, after all, the closest thing he had to family.

"Here, put these around the table," Ren said, handing Rai an armful of clean white dishes.

"Okay." Rai answered, taking the stack easily from his friend. The action, mundane as it was, put him more at ease. It was a chore he was used to, done every day, so in a sense it comforted him. Each plate settled into the woven place mat with a dull clang, like counting down the time to dinner.

In minutes, the table had been set, each seat patiently awaiting its owner, new or old. Meanwhile, Ren had climbed up on one of the chairs and once ready, had pulled Rai close to him, so that the dark-haired boy was placed firmly between Ren's open knees. Rai could feel the movement of them as Ren adjusted his position.

"We're having curry tonight." Ren told him. "I can tell by what my Mom's putting in the pan. It's really good. I hope you like spicy food, Rai! You _do_ like spicy food, don't you?" The little blond's brow furrowed in serious consternation.

Rai thought the way Ren seemed to worry over every little thing was rather endearing. But the truth was, and as far as he knew, he'd never had spicy food. Closing his eyes, Rai tilted his head back and sniffed the fragrant air. "It smells delicious." A small smile that told of fresh contentment crept onto his face.

"Wow." The reverent awe in which Ren spoke made Rai fluster and immediately open his eyes to find out what the blond was talking about. But when he looked, the only thing Ren was looking at was him. A wide grin spread across the boy's face and Rai's world seemed to narrow until all there was was Ren.

Barely able to blink or breathe, Rai stood still, completely entranced.

Ren gazed up at his friend and was once more struck by the impossible greenness of his eyes. They were deep and rich and made Ren's little heart flutter. But it was the smile that made him marvel. He so rarely got to see Rai smile that each time was a prize he kept locked away in his memory. But in this last smile, the gentle curve of the lips was different from the others. More subtle, more tender. It filled Ren with a sense of wonder and warm pleasantness that he couldn't help but utter that simple, awestruck word.

Food and family forgotten, he lifted his hands slowly to Rai's face and placed them on pale cheeks. The thumbs caressed the sides of his mouth, trying to ease them up, back into that special, mind-numbing smile. Ren's lower lip stuck out, pouting, searching for that particular look.

Unwittingly, Rai gave it to him.

Ren's mouth fell open. And then he smiled too, mistily, up at his friend.

The sound of cooking echoed off the walls, the only noise present in the otherwise still room.

Somewhere, a door opened and slammed shut and the sound of clicking feet approached the spell-bound kitchen. Ren's father, a tall man with light hair and a serious yet somehow trusting expression, strode in, dressed in a clean, dark suit. Aside from the height difference and the friendly sparkle in Ren's eyes, the boy looked the spitting, albeit younger, image of his father. A briefcase was dropped heavily into a chair and both boys started, whipping their heads in the direction of this new noise.

"I'm home," The man's voice, quieter and higher than one would expect, broke through the silence.

"Welcome home," His wife replied, walking over to he table and carefully plating out each serving. "You're just in time." She gestured her chin at her son and smiled. "Ren, why don't you introduce your father to our guest?"

Ren nodded vigorously and hopped off the chair, practically landing on top of Rai who was forced to stumble back a little to give room. Ren was so close, nearly every part of Rai's body tingling with it as he stood crowded to the edge of the table.

Not that Rai was complaining.

"Dad, Dad!" Cried Ren excitedly. "This is my friend Rai. He's having dinner with us tonight 'cause the people he lives with aren't very nice."

Rai went completely white.

"Oh?" Said Ren's father, glancing over to the woman.

But rather than addressing the "not nice people" issue, she answered, "Ren's been pestering me for months, so I figured it was time his friend came to visit."

"I see . . ." The imposing man looked down on Rai and the boy silently hoped the ground would open up and swallow him, anything to spare him that scrutinizing glare. Then Ren's father smiled, a smile that did not reach his eyes; but at least it made him look slightly less scary.

It also showed what a vast difference lay between father and son.

Rai could not even imagine a smile that was not one hundred percent genuine ever being on Ren's face.

"Yup, yup." Ren chimed in then, proving Rai's point. "He's quiet, but I like him lots and we spend a lot of time together. It's fun!" Ren beamed brightly at his father. Then with no further explanation, Ren took Rai's hand and seated him in a chair, Ren taking the one right next to him.

The man stood staring at the two boys for a moment before approaching his wife.

"Are you sure this is a wise idea?" Ren's father's whispered concern wafted to Rai's ear. He was sure that Ren must have heard it as well, but if he did, the blond gave no indication, only continuing to gaze happily at Rai.

"Dinner's ready." Was the soft reply of Ren's mother. And the matter was ended.

Everyone sat down together to eat, each one flanking the other. The tension was palpable to all, except for maybe Ren, who swung his legs delightedly beneath the table, occasionally bumping Rai's in the process.

Dinner was a strange affair, a mix of discomfort and desire and unsettled arguments. As Rai let the curry slide over his tongue, the spices danced in his mouth in tiny sweet, sharp, savory circles, the unspoken tension hung heavy like clothes set out to dry in the rain. The two adults spoke pleasantly, if clipped, their words mundane and ordinary and barely concealing the dissension somehow weaving its way within them. Rai's eyes flicked from one to the other curiously until they returned his look, one kindly, one not so much, at which point Rai dropped his gaze to his plate and resolutely kept it there. And so that is how they ate, Ren's father scowling every now and then, throwing disapproving glances that spoke volumes while the woman smiled sweetly.

At least the meal was delicious. It was filling and hot, filled with many flavors Rai had never tasted before, each one a new experience in his mouth. He did his best to block out the uneasiness and centered only on the food and the presence of Ren's warmth beside him.

Ren, in fact, was the only one who remained unaffected. Either he didn't notice, or his cheeriness could not be disrupted by so trivial a thing. He swung his legs happily and popped spoonful after spoonful into his mouth, all the while staring at Rai. His leg bumped Rai's again, hard this time, and the shock caused Rai's spoon to slip from his fingers and fall to the floor with a clatter. Two little boys' heads looked down at the offending utensil silently. Rai felt stupid and guilty and braced himself for the berating he knew would come.

Only it didn't.

Instead, Ren slid off his chair, picked up the spoon, deposited it in the sink and simply grabbed a new one. Once he had climbed back up onto his seat, he scooted it closer to Rai and handed over the clean utensil. Rai took it silently, his small fingers brushing momentarily against Ren's, and reluctantly pulling away. Ren moved closer. He was so near to Rai now, the brunette could feel the waves of heat that rolled off Ren's small frame.

The gesture stirred something in Rai that made him either brave or careless.

No one may ever know.

Ren continued to kick his leg, hitting Rai's almost on every pass this time. Out of instinct mingled with want, or who knows what, Rai stopped Ren's incessant movement by kicking his own leg out and latching onto Ren's. Then he wound his foot firmly around the other and locked it into place.

Ren's head shot up and he looked at Rai, wide-eyed, confused, but not in any way upset.

Rai smiled, this secret, slow, soft smile that came from places inside him as yet to be fully untapped and moved his foot up and down, brushing Ren's. Ren awkwardly swallowed the food still in his mouth with an audible gulp and stared at Rai. The dark-haired boy's odd cloudy look didn't fade and he moved his foot again and swung their legs as one.

Ren closed his mouth, took a deep breath, and followed suit, the side of his shoe running along Rai's. It was strange. It was new. It was enjoyable in a way Ren could not explain. And It was all Ren could make of it, knowing only that he didn't want to stop. He liked the feel of Rai's leg against his, just as he liked the feel of Rai's body laying beneath him like a pillow, the coolness of the other boy's hand in his. And Ren was not one to think about "why", he only did what he liked; what he wanted.

He ran his toe along Rai's and wished he could somehow take them off without making a sound.

It was weird.

Very, very weird.

He didn't care.

Instead, Ren just stared transfixed at Rai, fascinated by the way the spoonfuls of curry disappeared into his mouth. And Rai smiled still, that odd, mysterious, beautiful smile, emerald green glowing beneath his dark lashes.

Ren blushed and returned to his food, his body too hot and his little heart beating wildly. He started to eat again, his head ducked low and smiling giddily, the dinner filling his empty belly.

But he was hardly concentrating on that.

All he could feel was Rai's strong leg wound around his like a puzzle, feeling heat and fabric and movement and wishing he could get closer.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Diabolo was created by Kei Kusunoki and Kaoru Ohashi

A/N: I have computer problems. . .

* * *

Chapter 4: Under the Stars 

The two sat behind the back of the school building, hidden like thieves, Rai looking wordlessly up to the bright summer sky and Ren resting his head sleepily on his friend's shoulder in a habit they would return to often in the long dark days to come. Not that they knew that. They had yet to have any idea of the horror that would be unleashed into their small, heretofore insignificant lives.

Not a thought of such things entered their minds.

Not as they sat quietly in each other's company.

An errant soccer ball flew in front of the pair, bouncing over the pavement and waking Ren. He roused slow and reluctant, still caught in the last vestiges of a pleasant dream, at the sound of a sport the two boys often played, although not this afternoon. He rubbed his eyes clear and yawned widely, his warm breath floating over Rai's neck in almost familiar fashion. Rai watched him intensely, taking in every curve of Ren's downy covered cheek, every strand of Ren's hair as if Rai were etching it into his mind for all eternity. Ren's mouth closed and he pried his eyes open, still not wanting to let go of his sleeping flights of fancy until that is, he spied Rai. The upward curve of his lips at the sight of his friend was reflexive and the slight blush to his cheeks had now become commonplace.

Rai only smiled, that strangely adult smile and raised his hand to brush a few stray golden hairs from Ren's face. Without thought or embarrassment, Ren leaned into that simple touch, savoring the way Rai's hand was both gentle and strong, cool and yet made Ren feel warm. Rai brushed his thumb gently over Ren's soft skin and the blond closed his eyes, sighing contentedly.

Touch. It was all about touch; the feel of fingers and skin and warmth.

Words seemed unimportant to them now, more could be said in a look or a gesture than in speech. Especially when they were as yet unsure what exactly it was they wanted to say.

They were an odd sight there in the schoolyard, amongst children playing games and shouting loudly, the noises floating through the air. There was even a fight starting up in the far corner of the field which a teacher had rushed out to stop, interposing himself between one child and the other.

But for Rai and Ren, there could have been a war erupting on around them and they probably wouldn't have noticed.

They were too lost in the first flushes of childhood love, new and innocent and sweet.

Ren scooted himself closer to Rai, the hand on his face falling away, so that they lined up from shoulder to toe, the skin of their bared legs brushing up alongside each other. The blond leaned his head in until his nose just barely skimmed Rai's cheek, his warm candy breath unknowingly sending nameless shivers down Rai's spine and tying knots in his stomach.

Enjoyable, painfully pleasant knots that Rai wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

"You know," Ren whispered into Rai's ear. "You're my best friend."

"I am?" Rai asked quietly, easing his face closer to brush his cheek affectionately along Ren's.

Ren nodded, liking the intense nearness of Rai, the feel of skin against skin.

"You're my best friend, too." Rai said, stating what was obvious.

The blond hummed, a noise deep down in his little boy throat. He angled his head so that his breath now tickled over Rai's neck. "You know what else?" Ren went on without waiting for an answer. "I'm gonna keep you. For ever and ever."

A strange thrill flowed the length of Rai's body. But it was he who was supposed to own Ren, not the other way around. And yet, something about the statement made the tiny butterflies in Rai's tummy excited, fluttering against its walls in a frantic bid for escape. "Really?" he asked, trying to sound normal. "How are you going to do that?"

"I'm gonna take you home with me tonight and hide you, away from all the people who treat you bad. And I'll watch over you and care for you and . . ." There was a moment's pause as Rai stared confusedly and then Ren suddenly sat up. The blond's face was serious as it stared at his friend. "I want to make a promise." he said, abruptly changing the subject.

"What promise?" Rai looked at him warily, his eyes narrowed.

"Here, stick out your pinky. Like this." Ren obligingly demonstrated and Rai followed suit. Then the smaller boy crossed the fingers and latched them tight. "See? And now we promise. That we'll always be best friends. That we'll never forget each other. Never ever."

The blond's expression was oddly sincere, stern almost, which unfortunately only had the effect of making him more deliciously adorable. Yet still Rai found it a trifle disturbing. There had to be a reason for the sudden request and all he could think was: his father. "Of course. But, why? Did something happen?"

Ren shook his head fiercely, a little too much so, and then yanked his hand away as if burned. The force of the action made Rai's arm jerk forward, awkwardly closer to Ren and he sat that way a moment; just sat, his arm outstretched towards nothing, hovering near to the huddled little form. And then he took the dive. He reached his arm around Ren and pulled him close, so tight against his body that Ren gasped, momentarily unable to breathe.

"Ow. Rai, that hurts." The smaller boy whined, though only half-heartedly.

"That's O.K.." Rai smooth the flyaway hairs on Ren's head and held on tighter. "Why won't you tell me? What's a promise mean to you, Ren?"

The blond tensed uncomfortably and them gripped his small fingers into the cotton of Rai's shirt. The tears that fell silently dampened the fabric and trickled inward towards Rai's skin, exposed by the pull Ren had on the shirt. "It means everything." He shook his head again needlessly. "I want to be stronger so I can do what I want. I want to be able to protect you. I want to be strong enough to protect everyone. But I can't. And people are so mean . . ." He raised his head and looked straight into Rai's face, the trails of tears drying on his pinked cheeks. "Why are people mean, Rai?"

Just then, the soccer ball from before hurtled at the two, hitting Rai squarely on the head, making him accidentally bite down and cause his lip to bleed. Rai and Ren separated enough to see who had thrown the ball and saw an older boy, ugly by his attitude, sneering at them, glaring down as if he owned the world and they were unwelcome visitors. "Take it somewhere else, you fairies!" he yelled. A group of boys, what could only be assumed were the jerk's friends, gathered round and gave the same superior, disgusted look.

Taunts that Rai and Ren didn't quite understand were hurled at them, ending only once the initial boy had picked up the ball. And just for good measure, he kicked a rock at Ren before going on his way. Then the group, laughing and sending nasty glares backwards, ran off to the field and thought nothing more of the two boys sitting at the far end of the wall.

Ren tried to pull away from Rai, flushed and embarrassed but not knowing why, but Rai wouldn't let him. Instead, Rai tightened his hold and pulled Ren even closer.

And Ren didn't fight it. He didn't really want to.

The place he liked best, the place he felt safest, was here in Rai's arms.

Rai stared angrily at the direction the boys went and thought.

Old man Kobayashi, these kids at school they didn't even know, and from what little he could guess, Ren's father. Rai wished he could lock his friend away and keep him safe from all the ugliness that infested the world like a plague. But he couldn't; not yet. He wasn't strong enough either.

But one day he would be; this was his promise. He would make Ren just like him, with no one else in the world to cling to, and protect him from everything else that existed.

_Why are people mean, Rai?_

The brunette only squeezed the shaking little form in his arms. He didn't have the answer to that question.

He hoped he never would.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"C'mon, this way, just a little farther." Ren's golden brown eyes looked back anxiously. "Are you O.K.?"

"We're going to get into trouble." Rai looked blearily up at his friend. He was tired and hungry and wanted to stop and rest, but Ren would have none of it and Rai always had a hard time saying no to him. But it was also true that they were going to get into trouble for this. Big trouble, especially Rai _if _they were caught. A thing of which Rai was convinced of increasingly more with each step he took. He wanted to tell Ren to just turn around and go back before things got any worse. But then he looked at his best friend. Those puppy brown eyes shifted nervous and worried, but the ever-present smile was still present and that little, familiar hand was reaching out to him.

"Please?" Ren nearly pleaded.

How could Rai say no to that?

So bracing himself on the dirt slope with one hand and stretching out with the other, he let Ren help pull him up. Rai stumbled when he finally got his second foot up with him, but by some miracle managed not to fall and looked at Ren who stood beside him beaming.

How could he say no to that?

The answer was he couldn't.

Ren had done just as he said, with his mother's approval, and had stolen Rai from his captors for a sleepover. What they were doing now however, was certainly not done with any form of approval.

Continuing to hold Rai's hand, Ren pushed onward, deeper into the strange outcropping of land behind his home. It seemed to be, and perhaps was, the only expanse of nature anywhere within the overgrown city. Rai couldn't help but wonder how it was that Ren initially wandered in here to find this "special place", as he called it, pocketed somewhere within the vast jungle.

Although of course it was not a jungle. It was nothing like a jungle.

But the boys were still no more than seven, and to a seven-year-old's eyes, sometimes a small copse of trees can look like a veritable forest.

"There it is!" Ren shouted ecstatically, pointing upward. He turned to look back at Rai, who seemed a bit at a loss, confused and foggy, with dirt staining his cheeks. The image made Ren smile.

The little blond always thought of Rai as smart, in control, calm. So whenever he, well, wasn't, Ren thought it to be very appealing. It was uncommon, and more importantly, a look and attitude, a familiarity if you will, that only Ren was allowed to see.

And that made him feel enormously special.

Ren scanned out over the horizon. The day had already passed by red and gold and had evolved to the deep colors of purple and blue, calling on the onset of night. It was absolutely the perfect time.

With Rai obediently following, Ren walked over to the tall tree before him and stopped. Rai creased his forehead, rather cutely Ren would say, though equating "cute" to "Rai" was never quite a perfect fit.

No matter.

Ren somewhat regrettably let go the hand he'd been holding and began to climb up the tiny ladder-like notches carved into the trunk of the old, weathered tree. Taking a glance back, he spotted Rai still standing like a statue at the base, looking entirely perplexed. Ren smiled and shook his head.

Silly.

Actually it was, to be honest, part of what Ren liked most about his friend: every experience, everything that Ren took for granted was new to Rai, in a way both interesting and exciting. And Ren liked being the one to show Rai all these new things, these new experiences. To be the one to give him all these special days. Or nights, as it so happened. It was like he could never disappoint Rai because the brunette had no expectations. Having that much influence and control was addictive.

But Rai was an addiction Ren did not want to quit.

"Just climb up!" He shouted down, and then without further ado, scrambled like an acrobat up into the boughs of the tree and vanished from sight.

Rai eyed the tree with dubious trepidation. He . . was not a climber. He was strong, at least all things considered, but he was not entirely into doing such things as climbing up trees to go to who knows where to face who knows what possible danger. He craned his head back, looking upward to the now barely perceptible sky and considered.

Well, the thing was, Ren had gone up there without a moment's hesitation.

And that overruled everything else.

Because Rai trusted Ren.

Trusted him in a way he never had anyone before and knew would never trust anyone again.

But more than that, he would always go where Ren was. That was a life he had decided upon. He would seek Ren out until the boy would come to him.

Come to him when he called.

For some reason, that was a delightful little thought.

So, Rai took in a deep breath and steeling his nerves, took the first step that would take him up into the sky to rejoin his friend.

But he hit his head when he reached that sky and was surprised that something filled with only air could be so hard. But that was stupid, and he laughed quietly to himself as he rubbed his hand over the bump he was sure would soon be forming on his skull. Then he reached his hand up, feeling for what was there and found what seemed to be a wall or rather, based on the position, a floor.

"Ren?" He called softly, a little nervously despite himself.

Immediately, a little blond angel peeked his head down through an opening on the right of Rai. The delicate light hair stretched towards the ground, catching the pale moonlight in an ethereal way, making it look as though spun from clouds and gold. Ren really did look angelic, as if he had recently fallen from the heavens to land squarely in the middle of Rai's empty life.

And Rai wondered for one scary moment if there was any way the world would let a little monster like him capture an angel.

"This way," Rai's happiness said, waving and disappearing once more into the darkness.

Not wanting to lose sight of his precious friend, Rai leaned over and looked up curiously into the open space to find Ren, sitting quite calmly, and solidly, on the floor of a tree house. So Rai understood now. Gaining confidence from this clear indication that these were not mere clouds Ren sat on but wooden planks, Rai, with much more struggling than Ren but amazingly contrived grace, hauled himself up into the tiny house in the sky.

The soft noise Rai made had the blond turning his head in Rai's direction as he patted the spot beside him wordlessly. Accepting the invitation, Rai sat down.

The air of the tree house was somehow cooler and fresher than that below and a gentle breeze lapped against Rai's skin.

Ren watched him with intense curiosity.

Then the blond leaned in to Rai as if to whisper a secret, even though there was no one else to hear. "I found this place a while ago. I used to sneak up here when I wanted to hide out. It's beautiful, isn't it? The sky always looks clearer from here than anywhere else in the world." He said it with the conviction of a child who has in fact seen very little of the world to compare it to. "It's my special place." Ren turned his brown eyes, reflecting the glow of starlight, to Rai meaningfully. "Ive never brought anyone here before," he confided.

A shiver ran up Rai's spine, thinking that what was really beautiful up here was Ren. "Really?"

Ren nodded. "Really." Then he leaned in closer, their noses almost touching. "Only you."

There was something significant about this Rai knew, though to say exactly how and why, he was at a complete loss. But he did understand it on an instinctual level.

_Only him._

Just as it should be only Ren.

The two of them, isolated in their little world to fend for themselves. Then Ren would understand and Rai wouldn't have to be jealous of all the things the little angel had that only existed in Rai's wildest dreams.

"Look up there," Ren said, pointing to the sky and interrupting Rai's wayward thoughts. Glittering like a million little wishes hung the stars, shimmering down on the pair hiding out in this abandoned tree house. The blond edged closer to his friend. "Aren't they pretty? This is the only really good place o see them. The street lights and buildings usually block them out."

Rai tilted his head back. It was true. He had never before seen so many stars, sparkling like jewels in the sky, and certainly not so clearly. If he wanted, he could count them. Debating it, that might not be such a bad idea, really. It would take a lifetime to count them all, and every moment like this, with Ren by his side.

The moon continued to shine in competition with the stars, like an otherworldly beacon, casting a strange silveriness over everything.

Ren gazed over at Rai, bathed as he was in that moonlight, his pale skin glowing. It was altogether odd and nerve-wracking and frustrating, to have this feeling on the tip of his brain and yet still not know what it was.

He wanted to tell Rai . . .something, but what? Unformed thoughts formed in his young mind with no name and no solidity.

Closer.

That is all he knew, the only thing he could put into words. He wanted to get closer.

He wanted to be able to crawl inside Rai's skin, so that nothing could separate them. He wanted to feel and touch and be as near as humanly possible.

So he did.

And voiced the only thing he could think of, but knew was more true than any other words he'd ever spoken in his short life.

"I like you," Ren said, brushing his nose along Rai's. Contact, that is what he wanted. "More than anyone."

Somewhat startled Rai sat, frozen as ice and a little afraid to break this magical moment.

"I _only_ like you," he replied in a whisper.

Little short, catching puffs escaped Ren's lips. Something he couldn't place his finger on, ever elusive, but there and powerful. "Silly," he said breathily. Only that's not entirely what he meant.

And Rai could hear it. Ren's voice sounded strangely low, hanging heavy in the air. His eyes, normally wide, were half mast and drowsy, just like Rai's. But they were intense too, centered on the impossibly green ones staring back at him.

Rai swallowed, nervous and unsure and tilted his head. Ren lowered his gaze, and leaned a tiny bit more forward. The night was still and quiet, the only things heard were the gentle wind, the chirping of crickets, and the soft, anxious breathing of two young boys.

Closer. That is what they wanted.

Contact. In some way they didn't quite understand.

Then, as if by some silent, mutual consent, they both closed their eyes and leaned forward, and for a moment, their lips touched.

It was awkward.

It was strange, and they didn't knew quite what to do now or why they had done this to start with. But it wasn't unpleasant either and neither pulled away immediately.

It made Rai feel light and dizzy, somehow separated from himself and yet more in that moment than he had been in any other moment of his brief existence. It was a kiss of childhood, of first crushes and first loves, innocent in the time before even knowing what a kiss really is. The kind of kiss that is a mimic of what a child sees an adult do, not understanding exactly, but sensing in a way, the significance.

It lasted but short seconds before they drew apart.

The whole thing sent a strange thrill through Rai's body, making him warm and happy and wanting that closer, that contact again.

And it left Ren confused, his face flushed clear to the roots of his hair as he felt both giddy and excited. But mostly what he felt was embarrassed. Shrugging up his shoulders to hide this, he bit his lip and leaned into Rai with such suddenness so as to nearly tackle him. A little surprised by this reaction and therefore caught off guard, Rai slipped backwards, tried to right himself, and then thinking better of it, changed his mind and opted instead to let them both fall backwards. Nervously Ren giggled, now laying on top of Rai and hiding his face in the crook of Rai's neck. But then he settled down, lulled by the rhythm of Rai's breathing and the familiar warmth of his body. He snuggled himself alongside Rai like a puppy.

Something had changed between them, but they were still too hopelessly young to know what it was.

But Rai just let it slide. He liked this too much, looking up at the stars, with this perfect, innocent and trusting boy cuddled up to his side. Rai wound his thin arms around that boy and hugged him close. Closer, closer, ever closer, as if they could become one person.

Ren accepted the hold and raised his free hand to cup the side of Rai's chin. Then emboldened by who knows what, perhaps the mere fact of being Ren, he leaned up and planted another kiss at Rai's jawline. With his mouth still there, breathing warm air over Rai's neck, he closed his eyes and nestled as close as he possibly could.

Rai simply held on tighter.

He never wanted to leave this place.

Because the moment right now was perfect and he didn't have to think about resenting Ren's charmed life.

"We're going to get into trouble, you know," whispered Ren.

Rai laughed quietly, dismissing his darker thoughts and shook the little bundle in his arms. "I already said that!" he mock-chided his friend.

"I know." Ren paused. "I just . . I just didn't mean to get you into trouble. I really didn't. I just . . . Don't be mad at me, please Rai?"

The sad desperation in Ren's voice tugged at Rai heart in a way he could never have imagined. But it was in a way that could never be erased. "Why would I be mad?"

Ren didn't answer, instead letting the chirping crickets do it for him. Moments ticked by. "I wonder why no one's come to look for us yet?"

The dark-haired boy tensed. He didn't want to leave this.

He didn't want to hate Ren.

"Don't ask. Just let it go. It just means we can stay here longer." He looked down at the top of Ren's head and smiled softly. No matter the trouble they would face, it would be worth it. He wouldn't give this up. He would never let go of Ren, never forget. If ever they were separated, Rai would hunt Ren down until he found him.

He would protect him, keep him. Make Ren just like him, regardless the cost.

He wouldn't let Ren go.

He didn't think he could.

Ren, meanwhile, worried his lip between his teeth, twisting a bit of the fabric of Rai's shirt between his fingers. He liked Rai. He didn't want ever want to be without him. He wanted Rai there, to help him, to spend time with him. He enjoyed being with Rai, every moment.

He needed him.

There was nothing more to be done about it. He draped himself over his friend, acting his usual part of the blanket, and just knew.

They would together, in heart and mind if nothing else until the day they died. He just knew it and it made him happy. He smiled into Rai's skin as he spoke.

"We'll be best friends forever, won't we Rai?"

The dark-haired boy did that which he had only learned with Ren: he blushed all the way down his neck and nodded awkwardly. There was nothing else to say. No one had ever before in his life said such things to him. But it was nice to know that Ren felt the same as he did.

Together.

Forever.

No matter the nature or circumstances.

That was all there was to be said, all that mattered to him in his confined world. Whatever trouble hit him tomorrow, he would deal with it. Just so long as he had Ren, it made no difference.

Friend.

His little fingers dug into the softness of Ren's back, hidden beneath the boy's shirt.

He would never let go.

Ren turned to Rai then, wide-eyed and curious. Lifting his head, he asserted with endearment, "You know, you're a little weird."

Rai looked at his friend - his best friend - and pouted. Which just made Ren crinkle up his eyes and laugh. Those expressions, kept only for him, made Ren's existence somehow better, somehow complete. Staring at Ren, Rai tried to stay angry, but the happy gentle feeling was too infectious and he ended up chuckling softly along with Ren's much more giggly loud laughter.

Yes, best friends. Most precious friends.

Even more than that.

The two stayed there, content in each other's company, secreted in the depths of their own created world, perfect and beautiful at least for this moment. A safe place in the nightmare they had no idea would soon consume them.

And the musical harmony of their laughter drifted out into the night sky as they lay side by side; the sound caught by a warm breeze and taken away to the clouds and farther and farther still until it reached the stars.

-End-


End file.
